Quotes

JL de la Paz

“Being human means never having to say you're not electromagnetic.”

"You know what my cat said just now?
She said: "No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical."
I said: "Hey! You're quoting Niels Bohr!"
and she said: "Somebody's got to!"

“It's madness to think that no events are occurring above the vibrational band of 3,900 angstrom units wide just because the five senses of the human body are not capable of perceiving them.
Even bees can see colors that we can't see.”

"Mythra"
Maybe the reason the gods didn't want the people to eat meat is because you could never know when you might be eating Uncle Joe OMG WTF BBQ.

Others

"And you know, I’ve been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven-and-a-half seconds. And if I’ve learned anything during that time, it’s that you are who you are.
Plankton: That’s right. Okay, Neptune-
Spongebob: And no amount of mermaid magic… [gestures to Mindy, who looks ashamed] …or managerial promotion… [gestures to Krabs, still frozen] …or some other third thing can make me anything more than what I really am inside: a kid.
Plankton: That’s great, now get back against the wall.
Spongebob: But that’s okay.
Plankton: What? What’s going on? [Sponge has grabbed the microphone from the ordering boat]
Spongebob: Because I did what everyone said a kid couldn’t do. I made it to Shell City, and I beat the Cyclops, and I rode the Hasselhoff, and I brought the crown back! [Plankton runs up to Sponge]
Plankton: Alright, we get the point. [the room darkens and begins to fill with fog. A spotlight shines on Sponge and disco lights sparkle around the room]
Spongebob: So, yeah, I’m a kid. And I’m also a goofball, and a wingnut, and a knucklehead McSpazatron! [Plankton coughs due to the fog]
Plankton: What’s going on here?
Spongebob: But most of all, I’m…
Plankton: Okay, settle down. Take it easy.
Spongebob: I’m… I’m…
Plankton: What the scallop?! [Sponge bursts Plankton out of the way, now with a face visor on, and with a more rocking voice]
Spongebob: [singing] I’m a Goofy Goober!"

--Spongebob Squarepants, The Movie (insert rock video here)

"I haven't changed. I'm the same as I ever was, only in a different way."
--Judy Holliday, "It Should Happen to You", 1954

"Look for it in the basement of the Alamo..."
--fortune teller "Pee Wee's Big Adventure"

"...You know, it's a great thing to get on with ones loving and not to waste time."
--Lottie, Enchanted April

"Once Chuang Chou dreamed he was a butterfly. He was happy as a butterfly, enjoying himself and going where he wanted. He did not know he was Chou. Suddenly he awoke, whereupon he was startled to find he was Chou. He didn't know whether Chou had dreamed he was a butterfly, or if a butterfly were dreaming it was Chou. But as Chou and the butterfly, there must be a distinction. This is called the transformation of beings. "
--Chang Tzu

"The heart has eyes which the brain knows nothing of."
--Charles H. Parkhurst

"To be absolutely certain about something, one must know everything or nothing about it."
--Olin Miller

"In the beginning, there was nothing. Then God said 'Let there be light,' and there was still nothing, but you could see it."
--Dave Thomas

"Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new."
--Henry David Thoreau

"Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it."
--Mark Twain

"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."
--Paul Kantner

"I said no to drugs, but they just wouldnt listen."
--Rudyard Kipling

"I can believe anything provided it is incredible."
--Oscar Wilde

"To the man who only has a hammer in the toolkit, every problem looks like a nail."
--Abraham Maslow

"We fought bitterly for 15 years... and for the last five or six years we've been friends..."
--Larry Flynt speaking about Jerry Falwell, 2003

"If you can play the guitar and the harmonica at the same time--like Bob Dylan--they call you a genius...but make the extra effort to strap some cymbals to your knees and you've crossed the line to crazy."
--Otis Lee Crenshaw

"Christmas is " ... the day the little baby Jesus rises from the dead and zombies walk the earth..."
-- Family Guy

"It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life."
--Bilbo Baggins

Best Pick-up line, heard from the Amazing Jonathan's assistant:
" So, what's your name, Paul?"

"The past is a guide post, not a hitching post."
--Thomas Holdcroft, "Connections", the science channel

"Without deviation progress is not possible."
--Frank Zappa, "connections", the science channel"

You're dead to me now, Can Opener."
--Fred Flintstone, on Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law

"I'm a party girl. Tonight is my last night as a single girl, and I'd like to go out with a bang," [looks meaningfully at Wonder Woman] "hopefully several..."
--Princess Casnia, on Justice League

"From a linear perspective, individual consciousness originates from the end of the universe (when matter is totally unified with consciousness) and propagates backward in linear time, and is negentropic."
--Montalk

"Between observations the moon exists in transcendent potentia."
-- Dean Radin"

"In the most basic of ways, the world is formed from the inside out, and from dreaming reality into the physical one--and those processes happen at another level of consciousness."
--Jane Roberts, Seth

"The human mind has first to construct forms, independently, before we can find them in things."
--Einstein

"Problems cannot be solved at the same level of consciousness that they were created."
--Einstein

“We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.”
--Kahlil Gibran

"The brain is wider than the sky."
--Emily Dickinson

"We are the sole creature that makes maps...And if our weakness has been... to mistake the parchment territory of maps for that which is real, never mind. We have always been on our way to this new place, but there's no place really, that is real."
--William Gibson

"May you live all the days of your life."
-- Jonathan Swift

"Methuselah lived 986 years and all they said about him was that he died."
--Francis Behymer

"There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't."
--Warren Buffet

"I've been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn't require my presence."
-- Gary Trudeau

" Anyone who thinks people lack originality should watch them folding road maps."
--Franklin P. Jopnes

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila."
--Mitch Radcliffe

"I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."
--Mark Twain

"Not much time always has been enough."
--John Chico Martin

"Keep me away from the wisdom that does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh, and the greatness which does not bow before children."
--Kalil Gibran

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